Ironic that with the state of our nation being at the lowest point since the Great Depression both in economy, and morale that I feel more hopeful than I've felt for years. I'm looking at the next phase of my life and recognizing the need for a reconnoitering. Not only do I need to reevaluate how others perceive me, but also whether I am pleasing myself. I haven't been happy in my work for a long time and I need to rethink my attitudes. Nothing will change in the way of financial remuneration, so I'll need to find a way to focus on the personal gratification that I still receive from my work. I've been dwelling on the negative for too long which is beginning to turn me into a bitter and crabbed individual, not who I want to be. I've been consciously fighting the twin demons of comparison and envy and it is a difficult battle when struggling just to keep the lights on and wholesome and varied food on the table. This resolution for the New Year is too amorphous and I need to think of some concrete methods for making some changes for myself.
I know what those changes are. I'm just afraid that I'm not up to the task.
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