Women, women, women

Elizabeth Gilbert has written a sequel to Eat, Pray, Love entitled, Comitted : A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage . I read a review of the new title in the local paper and found these depressing statistics contained within;

In present-day America, married men make more money and live longer than single ones; single women make more money and live longer than married ones. Many women get married to have children, but Gilbert cites figures to show that having children raises the odds of a marriage’s failing, and the younger you marry, the more likely your marriage will fail.

If those statistics aren't enough to make you rue your lot in life as part of the fairer sex, try these stories on for size. While we were on holiday, J and I were both broke so we had to make our own entertainment and one of the things we did was drive out to the north side of Fort Wayne to hike in the Cedar Canyons area. We drove out Coldwater to Chapman Rd and just as we were turning east onto Chapman, we noticed a woman standing in the tree-line with a hand painted sign asking for help. She had that same beaten down look as most people who hold signs saying, “Will work for food.” The thing that was different about this woman was that she was standing on the side of the road with her sign out in the middle of the countryside. She was at least ten miles from the edge of town, and the cars passing her were traveling 55-60 mph. When we turned the corner again on the way home, she was gone. Back home warm and cozy, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. My first thought was that she might have small children in a house nearby and might have lost her job. J even asked if I wanted to cook a big pot of spaghetti and drive back out there to look for her. We laughed at how ridiculous it would be to drive around with a big pot of spaghetti hunting for a destitute woman in the Cedar Canyons area. Then a second, less charitable scenario started running through my mind. Maybe she was a meth head or crack addict and the sooner she hit rock bottom the better for her and anyone who was dependent on her. I wondered why she was that far out of town with her sign? Why she was all alone? Was she afraid, and what would she do if her mute plea for charity was viewed by callous or malicious eyes?

Then one of my favorite story hour moms came in to pick up her reserve books. The subject matter was divorce and when I quietly asked if they were for her, she replied that her husband has been having an affair for three years. I didn't really even need to ask her, I could already see the strain in her face. What makes the situation even worse is that their family is new to the area, so I'm guessing there's a geographic distance from family and friends. They have several young children and despite the fact that I've never met the man, I'm pretty sure I despise him already. He works for a local parochial paper and counsels teens on sexual issues. His wife is a beautiful young woman, one of those natural unaffected beauties, intelligent, and infinitely kind, caring, and patient with her children. The whole thing makes me feel hopeless. What does a woman have to do or be to ensure her man doesn't stray?