Centrifugal force

I used to say that my children kept me from spinning off from centrifugal force, the force being my desire to escape all the mundane day to day abuse from John Q, the boss, the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc...My love for them and my sense of responsibility kept me firmly grounded. J once again is expressing his need to leave, feeling pressure to go somewhere to find a job that pays an actual living wage and allows him to have some time free for himself. Apparently our relationship doesn't carry enough weight to hold him here. I tried to tell him that it changed things between us, that knowing that he's hoping for a new beginning elsewhere and just biding his time until that happens changes things between us. The elephant sits on my chest and J doesn't seem to feel any other pain than fear for his own survival, or at least he doesn't show it. To be fair, he was always honest with me, he was talking about leaving the area in search of a better job when I met him. My own need to have him in my life is the reason we're now cohabiting. Well, I don't know how much longer he'll stay with me, but somehow I have to buck up and make the best of the time we have left. I guess it's fitting that I never changed the title of my blog.