Peace pie

I didn't want to get stuck in another waste my life away day, so I started bright and early this morning to get some much needed tasks done, not everything, but I was probably more productive today than I've been for the whole last month all put together. After the housework I decided to drop some more of J's things off to him that I've found in the house. I drove the car since I had several full bags and told him when he does move out to an apartment of his own, I'd make sure he got some of the things he left for me, the blender, the toaster, microwave. He doesn't have space to store it right now, and I'm struggling to replace things even gradually. It's so difficult to fill your time without spending any money, but at least I'm managing to stay current with all my bills. It cut like a knife to see that Carol and Jack went to Purdue to meet up with Luke and Christian for their birthdays, and didn't even think of inviting me to ride along, but at least I got to see the fb pics. I was headed out to Bowman Lake on the bike to go swimming when I saw a couple hand in hand walking down the street. The guy turned his head toward me with a great big smile. I imagined him thinking, how cool, a woman on a big bike, and then probably squeezing  her hand and thinking, I'm glad you're not like that. I don't have a very good attitude about men right now. The one I want has no interest in me any longer, and one I left years ago won't leave me alone. It was not the best day for riding or  swimming, overcast and cool. I was expecting the lake to be deserted, but apparently everyone else had the same idea, to wring the last little bit of fun from this summer before fall starts and all the fun is over. I only swam once and read for a little while until the mosquitoes got so fierce that I finally cried uncle and headed for home. The apples on my little apple tree have ripened so I decided to make a pie. That was fun until it was done and the realization hit  that I had no one to share it with.  I thought about calling J and inviting him over for a piece of peace pie, but I deleted his phone number from my contacts and I can't remember his damn cell #. It's just as well, he read my blog and is pissed about the cad remark. He told me he's shunning me from now on. So, I guess it's best, I just can't take any more rejection right now.

The rose is one that came with the house, and every year it blooms differently. It used to be red but has faded to this lovely pink shade and seems to thrive on benign neglect. It's put on more blooms this year than ever before.