I made the mistake of googling his name and found that he'd started a new account on Vimeo. I thought that meant he might have posted the new video he's been working on, but to my disappointment found that's he's going in a completely different direction. I sent him a message questioning the new direction and he either removed his account or blocked me from seeing it the same day. I wish I hadn't looked, wish I could just move on, but it's still torturing me. I've tried to concentrate on remembering the good and letting everything else just slide away, but I keep recycling through the stages of grief over and over again. I resent the fact that he's totally destroyed my ability to trust another man.Why would a man who's basically kind, hurt a woman so badly who he claimed to love? It becomes more and more apparent that I didn't know the real him and I lived with him for five years. It makes me doubt my own perception of reality. A good stomp through Hathaway Nature Preserve helped distract me for a little while. I just have to make it till December 23rd and I'll have some time off work. I need to start planning the time off.
2 comments:
Hopefully the stomp through the woods helped some.
The pictures show a lovely place to walk. Thanks for sharing.
That is very sad. Your pictures are lovely. I hope your heart heals.
RETA@ http://evenhaazer.blogspot.com
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