Full of piss and vinegar, still have 74 days of work. I want to cash out my vacation, but don't think I can hang for 2 months w/o another week of vacation. My house re-fi is completed. J found out his student loans will be reduced based on his income, which was a huge relief to him. Who ever thinks they'll almost complete a degree, run out of money and never recover the will to soldier on and finish it? No one, but it happens. J was left with no credentials for all the hard work invested other than those damn school loans.  He gave me a promise ring and promised to marry me, but I'm not sure I'm ready to take that leap. If he hadn't already walked out on me once I wouldn't have as many doubts, but I'm so old, twice divorced, jaded. I just don't think I can muster the required blind faith .